I Asked ChatGPT to Roast Me

.. and here's what they got right.

So I have 3 different IG accounts right. Each is set on different algorithms, people I follow/who I allow to follow me, and what I engage with. While this sounds like a lot to manage, it’s a lot easier than when I had only one for business, hobbies to personal which confused the crap out of my audience as well as made it frustrating for me to navigate through. These are my accounts: 

1. Flowtaku - my anime and gaming podcast 

2. Dangerpxp - my alternative music and vinyl collection

3. My private personal one limited to close friends and family 

I asked chatGPT to scan my feed and roast each one. Here’s how it went! 

My vinyl collection account

This account screams, "I’m spending all my rent money on vinyls I’ll only listen to once!” It’s like your records are having a competition to see which one will make you go bankrupt first. The collection is so random, it’s like you spun a wheel of genres and just went with whatever it landed on. 

You've got everything from mainstream to "look at me, I'm so indie" records, as if you're trying to please every single one of your split personalities. The eclectic mix is impressive, but it feels like you're flexing on us with, “Look at my vinyl collection, but don't ask me about any of these albums!”

Also, that Linkin Park album? We get it, you're still numb.

My thoughts - Ok that closing Linking Park line.. I am dead over and over again.
Spending my rent money on vinyls is facts, this is not a cheap hobby! My playlists and taste for music are def a wheel of genres so also correct there. I’m that way to please my split personalities thank you. Ask me about any of the albums I posted and I will leave you a 45 minute (minimum) voice note describing every one of them! I rate chat gpt here a 4/5. 

Anime and gaming podcast

This account is giving "I’m a walking Crunchyroll subscription with Wi-Fi issues." You’ve got that perfectly balanced mix of “I’m a nerd, man” and “Look at my overly enthusiastic takes on everything anime and geek culture.” It's like you’re trying to convince us that you're the next big thing in the anime world, but the only thing bigger than your hair is your obsession with making sure everyone knows about it.

Your "Game of the Year" and "Anime of the Year" picks? So mainstream, it hurts. Are you really into this, or just trying to fit in with the popular crowd? And those podcast thumbnails? They look like a Fiverr job where you forgot to leave a tip.

The cosplay content and awkward poses are a reminder that no matter how hard you try, you’ll always be the guy who says, “If your favorite anime is Attack on Titan… well, we need to talk.” This whole profile is like watching someone explain their personality through Funko Pops.

My thoughts- the “walking crunchy roll subscription” I’m dead!! I do also have an obsession with my hair, and I did use fiverr to create my avatar (I tipped well btw). Yeah, I have mainstream anime and game of the year picks, as indie as I am, 2023 was a great year overall for both! If your favourite anime is anything, we need to talk as I’d like to hear about it. That’s my enthusiasm level for anime. I rate Chatgpt’s description a 4/5 on this. 

3. Personal account

   

This account is the ultimate mashup of "I'm still figuring out life, but at least I have cool friends" vibes. Every picture is like a bingo card of hipster cliches: oversized glasses, random street art, skateboarding, and of course, the obligatory cat pic. 

It’s like you’re trying to scream “I’m quirky” from the rooftops, but the megaphone ran out of batteries halfway through. And that hair? It looks like it’s seen more products than a Sephora warehouse. We get it, you have an impressive friend circle, but your group pics have so much chaos that they could pass as audition shots for a reality show no one asked for. 

The whole account is one big flex on how much you’re living your best life—just don’t ask anyone what they actually think about that cringe "fail" photo.

My thoughts - This is the account where post anything with no f*cks given. I don’t care about feed consistency, or engagement, I treat this like 2013 Instagram where I will randomly post about a cake I liked. I do have cool friends, and I am still figuring life out. I am the definition of “hipster” as you can see, and this is not mentioning the fact that I write for a living. Yup, the hair again! I’m obsessed with my hair. A reality show with my friends? Oh, that would be… quite boring actually. All we do is nerd out to video/board games, skate, eat food and go to concerts haha. I’m gonna have to give this AI assessment a solid 5/5.  

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I wanted to write something on substack to introduce myself and little bit about my interests and personalities, but didn’t know how. And like always, ChatGPT saving the world and getting us out of the writer's block! 

Hope you had a laugh on this like I did, and if you do end up doing one for yourself, share with me in the comments!! 

Cheers, 

Lamar